I don't know what it was or why it happened... But it's like today I woke up with this crazy new perspective. Almost like for the past while, no matter how much I thought I had my eyes open to the world, the people in it, and all of the goings on... I realized I really don't think I did. And the crazy thing is this new epiphany happened literally right when I woke up... Maybe it was because I decided to sleep with just one pillow instead of two last night, I dunno, thoughts ;)?
Anyway! I woke up suddenly realizing just how many changes are going on around me.. Old friends are getting married, old acquaintances are getting married (I know a lot of getting married, freaks me out a bit too), people are making plans for next semester of college, people are going away on awesome vacations for the summer, people are getting engaged (there seems to be quite a lot of people I know finding the person they want to spend forever with lately..), people are moving out to new apartments, moving to new states and so on. Everything and everyone around me seem to just be getting bigger and better and it's this non stop list of big life events growing all around me... And then there's me, little ole' me. My biggest life event lately is that I have found that egg whites all whisked up make a really good face mask (pretty intense and kinda gross I know) Oh! And I got a new hair cut... Oh. Yeah. Moving mountains over here!. I seem to just be the one standing in the middle of this huge blur of people and things and places whizzing right past me and around me...
I guess the point is that before even though I knew in the back of my mind just exactly how much people I knew were doing and accomplishing, I was still kind of in denial. Only because, well, I have pretty much been stuck in this same old rut not really doing much with my life... I felt lame, kind of like I was a waste of space, like I was just drifting around with no real purpose or meaning. But then, this morning, it finally hit me.. Yes, there are those around me doing big things, and I may not be at that level yet, but that is totally okay. I am just moving at a different pace, taking a different path I guess you could say. I am still really young after all, I am just trying to figure out what exactly is right for me. I don't need to feel like I am of any less worth than other people just because I am choosing to go about my life differently, and there definitely doesn't need to be any kind of competition going on either. We were all put here on this Earth for different purposes, to learn different things, not one of us is the same, and we shouldn't want to be either.
I guess I'm kind of like a black sheep around here. Walking against the crowd. At least the crowd I see... I'm sure there are other people I know that are like me, taking things slower, trying to make sure they are on the right path before they go running down it at full speed.
Yes I am different, yes I am making different choices, yes I am moving at a slower pace... Maybe it's because I am choosing to stop and savor life, take it in all of its stages for everything it is worth instead of running through and sometimes skipping some chapters. At least that's how I look at it... I'm different, and I choose to be happy.
I do have one request though.... Slow the marriages down! It's getting kind of freaky...
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