Warrior

Today I heard a song that gave me inspiration to write in my blog for the first time in a while..

I'm sorry I haven't been present guys.. Ya know.. For the few of you that actually read my blog.

Anyway.. This song just got me thinking about my life, and the choices I have made that have gotten me to where I am now. It's been a long and painful journey. Full of ups and downs. But I am so much better than I have ever been, so absolutely everything has been worth it.

Many people are very confused as to why I have taken the path I have. Some even think I am damned and that I'm going to Hell in the next life. Not many people around me still talk to me, because they fear my new life and the new me. I guess that is their own personal choice.. But I've always been kind of confused as to why they have to think that way.. Then I heard this song, and as cheesy as it may sound it made things a lot more clear to me. People often make me question the place I am in. Even though I feel stronger, sometimes I ask myself "should I really be here?".. Being on the side of things that I am isn't easy. I definitely didn't choose the popular things for life here in Utah.

I am the black sheep..

And I am a warrior..

My whole life I have felt the small spark in me for potential greatness.. For potential fight in me.. All I needed to do was let it in instead of fight against it.

I am Madison. And I am an Ex-Mormon. 

I do not belong to a church. No that does not mean I don't believe in God. That just means that I do not believe in allowing someone else to dictate the ways that I will and will not believe. I also do not believe in the restricted ideas of God that people have created over an infinite amount of time. I do not believe in being conceited enough to say I have the one true religion and God out of the Nth amount of possibilities out there.  I do not belong to a religion and that fact is very liberating for me.

I was born to walk against the crowd. I was born to explore. And I am finally free to walk that path. I am very spiritual. I do very strongly believe in a God. Whether that be a person, a spirit, an energy, or simply all of us put together.. I don't know. I believe in angels, and I believe in their divine purposes. But I will not tell people I have all the answers, I do not follow a set of rules someone else creates for me, I do not believe in any book that has been constantly changed over time in order to fit in with modern society. Simply put I am not at all a fan of organized religion. 

I believe that in order to ascend into our higher selves, and to truly allow our spirits to be free "organization" is nothing but stifling. We need a bit of chaos. We need to be able to think outside of the box without anyone telling us to stop. We need to be able to explore all the different dimensions of ideas and possibilities. We need to be able to truly think for ourselves without someone whispering in our ear how and when to do it. Doubts should be alive and real. Opinions should be open and challenged. Personal truths should not be talked about as fact. And opinions should not be mistaken for truth. We should not be reigned in when we have so much potential for greatness. 

Freedom is not real when you are "organized". That is called being programmed. 

Dare to step outside of the box. 

Take it from me it isn't easy. Take it from the very much famous Kate Kelly. Take it from Ghandi. Take it from whoever you want that has been known for being different..

It isn't easy.. But it is very worth it. There is nothing wrong with being different, and wanting so much more out of life.. Wanting to see the human race shine brighter than ever before.

Why do we as human beings crave organization and constant rules? When we were built to be totally unique and outstanding. 

We need to stop stifling ourselves.. But that won't happen when 98% of us don't even notice that they are being completely held back..

We have this concept pounded into our very beings that belonging to a group of people that think the same is the way to go.. Even when you don't really think like them.. And trust me, you do not think like them, and they do not think like you. I do not care if you belong to the same religion or the same political party or the same book club.. Your thought processes and your beliefs are NOT the same.. Stop tricking yourselves into thinking that is the case. 

I am a warrior. I am disliked by many for speaking out against what is popular. I think outside the box. I walk against that crowd that is heading off the cliff. I have created my own beliefs..

And I will never be held back again. I will never be stifled again. I will not be silenced. I will continue to grow.

And I dare you to dive into the waters of the deeply unknown with me..

You may end up thanking me.

You do not need anyone to save you, or anyone's idea of God and the afterlife to save you.. Saving yourself is up to you.. And until you do you are never really safe.. 

Chaos is beauty.

"In the sky there is no distinction of East and West, people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true."
-Buddha

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."
-Buddha

"Believe nothing. No matter where you read it, or who said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
-Buddha

"Peace doesn't require two people, it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there."
-Byron Katie

"I don't let go of concepts. I question them. And then they let go of me."
-Byron Katie

"My grandfather told me that there are two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try and be in the first group; there was much less competition."
-Indira Ghandi

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
-Mahatma Ghandi

                    This is a story that I have never told

I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised

Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know

Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised

'Cause now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me

There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway

Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

No oh, yeah, yeah

You can never hurt me again