My Miracle.

About a month and a half ago my mom and I both had the wonderful opportunity to do something amazing.. Save a life.

As most of you know she and I both volunteer up at the Humane Society of Utah. We've both been huge animal lovers our whole lives, but we also both have a huge soft spot in our hearts for dogs especially... After all we do have five.

When I started volunteering up there after my mom I took an instant liking to a specific breed.. The Pitbull. Now I know most of you would think I'm crazy because of that. Because most of you are very very sadly misinformed about this amazing breed. And sadly.. I was also misinformed at one point. We are all taught to hate them. To fear them. That they are basically nothing but killing machines. But during my time working there I learned that they are so very different from what we have all taught ourselves... And it all started with one specific Pitbull.. I still remember her, her name was Edna. And she and I bonded basically instantly. 

Ever since then whenever I go up the first dogs I take out are always the Pitbulls. A few things you should know about this breed: They are nothing to fear. They may look scary, but really all they are are fun loving clowns. They love people more than anything. They are loyal. They are the most forgiving and accepting breed out there. They are hardly ever the dog to start a fight, I always see labs, or boxers or basically any other breed start the fight and often the Pitbull won't even fight back. Yes you may hear about Pitbulls attacking people or other dogs, but in truth those attacks are very far and few in between (you only hear about them because we have labeled them wrong, and in fact there are A LOT of dogs out there of all sorts of breeds that are attacking people or dogs as well, you just hear about the Pitbull because they are the ones labeled wrong, it's all about what the people teach them to do and sadly Pitbulls are used as fighting dogs a lot.), you should ALWAYS judge the deed, never the breed.

The whole time my mom and I have worked at the Humane Society we have felt like even though we are contributing to a wonderful cause, we have always wanted to do more... Around this time is when my mom met my miracle, Petunia the Pitbull. She found this wonderful dog in Cedar city while she was on a college tour with my younger sister. At the time Petunia had been wandering the streets, homeless, and starving. There was so much fear in Petunia, even when my mom offered her a hamburger, hoping to help this poor dog in even the smallest way, Petunia did not want to approach my mom.. But after poor starved and frightened Petunia ate the hamburger he followed my mom around and licked her hand, begging for more.. My mom broke down in tears.. At this point she called me so that I could get her the Humane Societies number..

Petunia ended up in the pound in Cedar city.. But my mom and I could not bear the thought of her getting put down. Luckily that pound was more than happy to work with the Humane Society so that we could save this wonderful creature. And a few short days later my mom and I were on the road to go save this wonderful dog... Even when we picked her up from the pound my mom was saying she was already a different dog. 

The trip was amazing and so very worth it.. But instead of taking her to the Humane Society the next day we ended up fostering her... 

Seeing the love and light come out of this dog and the life come out of her has been nothing short of amazing. She is my example of pure forgiveness and love. The journey I have had the pleasure to walk with her has been bumpy at times, but it has also been something I will cherish forever. I have learned a lot from it. Petunia is definitely a part of me. She has a special place in my heart and always will.. And I know she has come to feel the same way about me as I do about her.. In fact she loves us all. She loves people in general. And she loves other dogs.. She just loves everything! She has such a strong appreciation for life. And appreciation I have never seen in any other living thing. She's always so bright eyed and magnificent. Even though I know she has been through Hell. 

She loves loves being outside and spending time with her people. She knows our cars and gets overly excited whenever we drive up in them.. Her favorite toy out of all of them is her care bear, she cuddles with it all the time and can't sleep without it. Her favorite treat is probably her peanut butter spray .. And she's incredibly smart. It doesn't take her long to learn a new trick. One of her favorite places to go is probably the park across the street, she loves to run around freely, go down the slides and dig... But she always wants to race right back into our arms.. She has such a huge heart.

Unfortunately she has had to live outside in the Groomery because sadly our dogs won't be nice to her, even though she would LOVE to be their friend.. Long story short, the situation has become to hard.. We can no longer foster her. So long story short we have made the very painful decision to take her up to the Humane Society tomorrow. I truly feel like my heart is breaking because of this. Thinking of having to see her sad and confused face when we walk away from her leaving her there.. Then coming home to see her toys she loves so much in the Groomery because she can't have them there... It just breaks me.. I already feel empty.. And she's not even gone yet. I love her so much. And I know she loves me... I just hope this is truly the best decision.

Petunia will always be my miracle. My example of everything pure and good in this life.

I love you baby. With my whole heart. 

If any of you would like to adopt her, or know someone that would like to adopt her.. Please let me know. She deserves an amazing home that will show her nothing but love... She deserves the best.

The drive to get Petunia from the pound

The drive.. I was so excited

After we picked her up. She was pretty scared.

The drive back.

We had a little pit stop.. No pun intended ;) She was so skinny.

One of her first nights with us.

Petunia now...

Posing for "The Dog" ;)

Enjoying time at the park.

She learned how to ride a skateboard.

Smelling flowers.

She gets so excited when her people get home..

Less Than Perfect: A message to all women.

Wherever you're from... Whatever secrets your past holds... Whatever your pant size is... Wherever you are... Whatever language you speak... Whether you're a single mom, or a 14 year old girl battling through High School... Wherever you're headed... Whatever religion you have left, or belong to... Whether you're gay, bi or straight... No matter how many insecurities you may or may not have... Whether you're book smart, or street smart...

You deserve nothing that is less than perfect.

As women in this day in age it is extremely hard... Basically everything is just hard. We have so much pressure to look perfect, to act perfect.. But what is perfect? Well apparently we have all established perfect as the medias idea of a beautiful woman.. Something that isn't possible.. Not even for those models in the magazine or those celebrities walking down the red carpet. Every single one of us has flaws. Scars. Acne. Weight issues. Secrets. Embarrassing moments. Yet.. Even though we know that in the back of our heads, we still convince ourselves that we should be able to achieve that impossible image of beauty.

Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why have we created this ridiculous amount of pressure? Our flaws, our differences, are what make us so wonderfully, beautifully, and perfectly human.

Because of all of this pressure, because of the media that give us all body issues, because of the ridiculous competition between you and your neighbor, because of this impossible image of beauty... We as women seem to always be in a pit of incredibly low self esteem. 

We feel like if we don't have a man all the time, we must not be pretty or worth it. We feel like if our skin isn't always flawless, and our hair isn't always perfectly done we aren't trying hard enough. We feel like because we may not have gone to a certain college we will never amount to anything. We feel like we should always hide our past and our mistakes because if anyone found out we are just human we would be shunned forever.

Why do we feel like this? Well because we as a society have created it. We get those feelings because people have taught us to feel that way. We make each other feel like we aren't pretty. We shun each other. We make each other feel less than worth it.. Because we are letting our own insecurities take over..

None of this is needed... We could be so much better.

We could live in a perfectly imperfect world, where we recognize and love each others flaws and differences... 

Ladies.. I am here to tell you that... YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOUR DIFFERENCE'S MAKE YOU AN INDIVIDUAL. YOU SHOULD NEVER WANT TO BLEND IN. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.

If you are in a bad relationship because you feel like you don't deserve more, get out. You always deserve the best. I don't care who you are, what you've done in your life, what your dress size is. None of that matters. You deserve a guy that brings you flowers just because it's Monday. You deserve someone that loves you unconditionally. And you will find it. You just have to recognize that you are worth it and hold out until you find it.

If you are in any kind of a situation that you wouldn't want your daughter, or your best friend, or your sister in.. GET OUT! Because if they don't deserve it. Then you don't either.

If you want to be a photographer. Or a nurse. Or a construction worker. Or a model. Or an author. Or a designer. But there are voices around you telling you that you can't.. Silence them. Stand strong and go for your dream. Because you CAN make it. 

Ladies.. You are wonderful. You are strong. You are unique. You have so much to offer.

Own who you are. See the beauty in your life.

Don't worry so much about what others are thinking.. Because they'll always judge, no matter what you do.

We may have messed this society up through the years.. But we can start to change it by being that change.

Tell that shy girl that she is wearing a cute outfit. Look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and give yourself three compliments. Congratulate that popular girl on her big break in modeling. 

We all have our secrets. We all have our insecurities. It's time to start supporting everyone despite them. And it's time to start accepting ourselves despite them.

Don't settle for anything less than perfect..

Your own perfect..

No one else's idea of perfect..

Because we are living in a beautifully imperfect world.

Breathe.

Life's hard all around. We love. We hate. We have good days. We have bad days. We crave what we can't have. Everyone's begging for a love they can't have. We want change in the world, but we always refuse to be the one to start that change. When we see one thing we refuse to see another. We fall. Sometimes we get up, and sometimes we don't. Some of us choose our battles. And others of us try to fight them all. 

I used to try and fight them all. And I would lose. Over and over I would lose. I took knock out punches left and right. And eventually I didn't get back up. I didn't realize that if you choose your battles instead of trying to fight them all, you'll win the war. I went down that dark road.. That road you're traveling. The one you can't seem to find the strength to stray from.

I know. I know where you are. That place you're at. Because I've been there. I've gone where hope doesn't exist. I've been where faith in everything, faith in people, is gone. I've traveled so far into the dark that I forgot that light even existed. I've been so far down that pit where no matter how much you scratch claw and dig you make no progress. I've been exactly where you are living right now. So I know how utterly hopeless it can seem.

I've been down that road. The one where you hate yourself and the people in your life so much that death seems like the better option. I have lost God and I have hated him so much that I could feel it in my bones. I have been to that place where you may be alive, but not really living. I have faked those smiles. I have faked that laughter. I have been a shadow of myself, lingering with no purpose or direction. I have been to the absolute lowest of the low. I have taken the hard hits. I have been to the darkest place you can go.. And I got up. 

It's a new art form. Showing people how little I care. Embracing life as it is. Feeling the absolute strength of my spirit. Embracing the journey is never easy. Bouncing back from darkness is impossible. But working to get back is very possible.

Even when you feel you're completely broken, like life is not worth living. Even when you pray to that God you have lost all faith in for release. Even when you feel you can find no peace. There is always a part of you, no matter how small, struggling to find its way back. I know. I have been there. 

Breathe. Just breathe. 

Life is hard all around. For everyone. Always. 

Happiness is a basic human right. Something we all deserve no matter what we have done or where we have been. Life is something to be really and truly lived not just endured. 

Your spirit is strong. Your mind is amazing. You have a light, a fire, inside you. Reach in, find it, and let it ignite. 

Those of us that have been to the lowest point, or are at the lowest point are the strongest. Even when we don't feel it. If we weren't the strongest we wouldn't have to go through it. We are the strongest because even when we feel broken, even when we feel we have given up, there is always a part of us fighting. Those that don't reach that low point, that bottomless pit, are the ones that couldn't take it. 

Everyone has there struggles. Some are just harder and seemingly more endless than others.

This world can be so filled with hate. Bullying. Death. Sadness. Pain. Tears. Fears. 

But this world can also be so filled with beauty. Love. Life. Laughter. Hope. Smiles.

What side will you choose?

Will you wake up? Will you try? Will you find your strength? Will you be daring? Will you choose to be different? Will you fight your way back? Will you become that heavy weight champion? 

I've been there. And I've won.

I know my strength. It is amazing. It fills me and completes me. I know I can overcome so much. More than I ever thought I could handle.

And it all started with a deep breath. 

I closed my eyes...

And I looked up.

Just breathe.

Fight For It.

One of the things that makes me so sad is when I see someone give something up that is good. Something they need, or something they want... Or someone. 

When you find happiness in something, or with someone nothing should get in the way of that. If you love it, fight for it, if you can't stop thinking about it, it's time to get out of your hole and go fight for it! I don't care if it's hard. I don't care if it's painful. I don't care. And you shouldn't care.

Nothing that is easy to to achieve is worth it in this life. The things that are hard to get to are the things that are worth it, they are the things that will ultimately bring you happiness. The journey to get there isn't easy, but once you make it it's just that much more satisfying.

If you love her, go get her! If you want that job, be competitive! If you wanna have sexy legs like that other girl, go to the gym and get them! 

Very little is impossible in this world. Most things we can make happen if we set our minds to it. So don't talk yourself out of it, I speak from experience when I say you'll regret it. We only get so many chances at things until it slips out of your fingers... So stop putting it off. You never know when you're gonna wake up and realize it's all over for real, and you wish it wasn't.

Even if you're scared of the outcome you still have to try.. Because even when the answer might be "no" it also could be "yes". So why should you risk missing out on a "yes"?

Please people.. Don't give up so easily. Don't give up when it starts getting a little hard. If that guy your crazy about makes one little mistake, or doesn't agree with you on one thing, get over it and give him another chance, if you really love him looking past it should come really easily. If moving up in your company is really hard but you really want that position, that doesn't mean quit, that means work a little harder for a little longer.

Nothing that is really good and really worth it will come easily... That's how you know it's worth it.

Gonna Be a Sexy Lady!.. No.. Seriously.

So I've really been neglecting my Blog lately.. I went from posting basically everyday to not posting for like 2 weeks.. On the plus side you guys got a nice little break from my constant posting.. Down side.. I'm baaaaack! ;) 

Oh.. And also, my absence was not my fault! My dad stole my computer.. And kinda sorta neglected to give it back. 

Anyway! Onto my topic I planned for this post! Getting fit!

Basically, after a very emotionally rough time lately, well, I really needed an outlet. Something to kind of help me get all of my emotional distress out, and something to help me feel good about myself. My mom had been talking for a while about going to get trained by this woman named Tandi.. Tandi has been an MMA fighter for years. She teaches the awesome art of Muay Thai, and she is an instructor of some seriously killer work outs.. You can just go to her classes or get personally trained by her.

Seriously people.. This woman kicks so much butt! If you are wanting to really get whipped into shape.. Look to her!

Anyway.. With all of my emotional drama I asked my mom if I could go with her, ya know, provided that it wasn't too expensive for two people to go. I just thought it would be a good idea, give me something to do that would really get my built up tension out and I had wanted to get back into shape for a while. Good idea right?

Well.. Yes, and no. More yes than no.. But still.. It's truly a love hate relationship.

Seriously, it kicks butt. Gets your heart rate going. Makes every muscle in your body sore.. People that think they are totally in shape walk away from one of her classes, or another instructors classes, and they are totally worn out. 

And I am literally jello.. Not in shape at all.. So by the end of a class, I pretty much wanna lay down and die. But hey! I am already feeling good, and getting through a class with Tandi is seriously empowering, for several reasons. First, you can say you finished (which is a feet). Second, you are learning an art that can really help you defend yourself if you ever need to. Third, if you are a woman, you can be confident knowing you can take any man down. Fourth, you just feel dang good about yourself! Fifth, your body is gonna look dang good.

Really people.. If you have been looking for a serious push, look to The Pit Elevated (located in Orem). But if you're interested, do not expect anything easy, they'll kick your butt. But that is an extremely good thing!

Also, this gym is a really great environment. Everyone is really and truly nice, no one is fake, no one is there just to look at their "hot bods", everyone is very serious and passionate about their health and the art of Muay Thai. I love it. I never have a bad feeling in that place and I never feel uncomfortable.

I highly recommend The Pit. And I highly recommend Tandi as an instructor.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Pit-Elevated/208093452548026