And if we aren't consciously hating those things we are always projecting our hate onto other people. Nit picking the things they do, the things they wear, the things they say... The way they go about their lives.
Or we are constantly looking, trying to find someone who is more miserable than we are so that we can begin to feel better about our own personal life.
Why is it so easy in this life, in this world, to so very quickly spiral down the road to victimization, hate, jealousy, envy, and madness.. Instead of spiraling down the road towards love, acceptance, happiness, peace, and a more elevated state of mind?
It is a sad things that we as human beings in this day in age are so quick to jump to the bad, instead of the good. Sad... But not without reason. I see the reason why we do this. As I am sure most people do.
We live in a ruthless world where every one seems to have this need to compete with everyone else. Where everyone is trying to put on this picture of complete happiness and perfection... When really their life is falling apart behind the scenes. We live in a world where letting our emotions out is seen as weakness... Where people will be "fake nice" to each other just so they can snoop in someone else's life trying to find weak spots. We live in a world full of run down people, destroyed houses, stressful jobs, not enough time in the day, and self loathing.
If it isn't one thing it's another. There are very few people that I know of who are truthfully totally and completely happy. Happy with their life and themselves. Happy with there bodies, with their weight, their job, their romantic life, their family... Everything. I know many people who will claim to be totally content because they are too scared to be vulnerable. But not truly happy.
Most of us have gotten to a point in our lives where we just float by. Existing, but not living. Letting days slip by, convincing ourselves that we are happy. Never looking deep into ourselves. Always fearing what we don't understand, and looking to others for approval in the things we do.
We turn to things like religion, make-overs, plastic surgery, friends, and significant others for the happiness we always seek. But we never stop to really look inside ourselves. We never stop to find what will make our unique self happy... Because we are all too damn busy competing and trying to keep up with the illusion of our picture perfect world.
Well guess what? No amount of church going, fake smiles, pouty lips, expensive clothes, nice houses, jobs, or friendships is ever in a million years going to make you happy. Fine, maybe at some point those things may help contribute to your overall happiness. But completely investing in them will not bring you happiness. They will bring you momentary masks to put over the scars in your life that you are trying to hide.
Make up wont take away the imperfect skin you hate so badly. Silicone breast implants won't forever give you flawless breasts, because guess what, gravity takes over again. A low number on the scale in the morning won't magically make you feel amazing in your clothes. Going to church every Sunday does not suddenly make you a perfect saint with no flaws.
Masks. They are all masks.
If complete happiness is what you seek, you need to look inside yourself. You need to search and find what YOU need to do to start loving your own personal world. It isn't something that is easy, but nothing that is worth it is ever really easy.
I've never understood why it is so frowned upon in this world for someone to take some time for themselves.. To stray away from the crowd and search for what they personally are looking for. We don't all need to be doing the same thing. We don't all need to look the same. We don't all need to have a "perfect" life. We don't need to have it together all the time everyday. We don't need to join the same religion, or wear the same brand of clothing. We don't need to have the same taste in music, or food. We don't need to be constantly trying to change people because they are a little different from everyone else. What works for one, won't work for another.
Focus on YOU for a change. Invest in your hobby. Take a trip. Embrace your flaws. Stop obsessing with being skinny. Stop feeling guilty over doing something for yourself. Take a step back, slow down, and breathe...
Because in the end none of it even matters. Not even a little bit. No body knows if their vision of God or Heaven is correct. No body can tell you not to love someone, because "they just don't seem right for you", who ever gave them the authority to dictate that? No body should tell you that you need plastic surgery because you don't fit the description of a perfect woman, because there is no such thing as perfect.
Stop focusing on everyone else. Stop obsessing with the image of "beauty" that the media is shoving down our throats. Stop. Just stop. And look at yourself for once.
Do what it takes. Even if it's hard. Even if others don't approve. Because you deserve it. Everyone does.
We are all always looking for love and acceptance from those around us... But why? What would that give us even if we received it from even the most stubborn person? Nothing really. Because in the end even if we had their love and approval, it'll all add up to nothing if we don't first love and approve of ourselves.
We all have our demons. We all have our hidden secrets. We all have our dreams.
And it is always better to live your life imperfectly, with break downs, and hectic days, than to live someone else's life absolutely perfectly.
Love yourself. That is always the key. You can't really do much of anything without it.
And I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the future to fill up my life with yet to come surprises.
Operation self-esteem: Day freaking one.
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