Come What May

The world is full of so much chaos and ruin. Both of which people are constantly obsessed with trying to control. We all have an illusion that if we can limit the amount of horrible things that happen in our lives we will be able to more fully achieve the happiness we seek. But the thing we seem to be constantly over looking is that our lives are not the things full of chaos and pain, and the ruin that comes along with those things, it is just the world that is chaotic. And we have absolutely no control over that.

We live in a universe that we cannot really touch. The planet keeps spinning, and time keeps ticking, no matter how much we try to influence it. Bad things will always happen without us being able to sense them coming. Pain will always be felt, hearts will always be broken...

And I will continue to be amazed by how completely beautiful every disaster is. 

I may not be able to stop the horrors that touch my life, or the lives of those I love. But I am able to embrace them, and be able to continue living in bliss as they rage around me... And I will always continue to be utterly, and completely, grateful for each and every one of them. Because without them the good that comes after them would have never been found.. If one little thing had gone differently I would not be with my soul-mate... I would not see the happiness spark inside my mom's eyes that I have so longed to see for years... I would not be able to foresee the utter beauty that my sister's life will become after the monster that is highschool... I would not be able to see the release my dad feels after so long of being caged inside the insanity circle that was created... Without it I would not be able to watch as my brother tries to come back to himself.

The ruin that has taken place in my life is completely beautiful to behold. 

It has always simply been mind over matter. Terrible things may happen in our lives, but that does not make life an ugly thing. Wars may be raging, cancer may continue to horribly effect people's lives, hearts may continue to be broken, loved ones may continue to die... But that does not mean we have to live in misery. Misery does not bring happiness. Letting go brings happiness. In the moments where we let go of the illusion of control are when we are the happiest... When we are no longer fighting against the impossible battle, and we are just simply being, that is when we can truly be free.

There is true and complete peace to be found in simply doing nothing. There is true peace in simply living. 

Look to those who seem to be bearing some of the worst trials, and notice how at peace they seem... And choose to learn from them. Even in the worst of times, even in the most desperate of times, we can still find the beauty in the disaster. 

It is not YOUR life that is chaotic. It never has been, not even for a second. It is just the world around you that is. You can choose to feel nothing but pain in the bleak times, but you can also choose to feel gratitude for what you have that is beautifully good. Be grateful that you exist. Be grateful for those you are close with. Be grateful for what you are learning every day. Just simply be.

Simplicity can bring so much happiness... 

I have found the following quote from my favorite non-fiction story (Eat Pray Love) to be extremely helpful in learning how to go about life. It is directed towards an ex-boyfriend.. But can be applied to almost any situation: 

Dear David,

We haven’t had any communication in a while, and it’s given me time I needed to think.

Remember when you said we should live with each other and be unhappy so we could be happy? Consider it a testimony to how much I love you that I spent so long pouring myself into that offer, trying to make it work.

But my friend took me to the most amazing place the other day, it’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came, they trashed it along with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great Emperor, how could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would one day be in ruins?

It’s one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up, around it over centuries, feels like a precious wound, like a heartache you won’t let go of…as it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same, David. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.

Then I looked around this place, at the chaos it’s endured, the way it’s been adapted, burnt, pillaged then found a way to build itself back up again and I was reassured. Maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it.

Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.

Even in this eternal city, the Augusteum showed me that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.

Both of us deserve better than staying together because we’re afraid we’ll be destroyed if we don’t.

And with that... I leave you.