Why those 27 things to do before you get married may, or may not, be right for you..

Dear friends,

For the longest time I used to be one of the most skeptical people out there about getting married young.. I used to be just as bad as most at passing judgement on to those who got married at 20 and giggling about all the things they would "no longer" be able to do in their life.

But, here I am, married at 21. No much better than being married at 20, huh? And while I still do think you should at least have a couple years out of High School before you should jump on that wagon of bridal bliss, maybe seriously date a few people before you claim your first and only boyfriend is "the one".. I now scoff at all those silly blogs and articles full of "27 things you need to do before getting married!" or "why you'll regret getting married young". I seriously never thought I'd be this person that is all for getting married young.. Don't get me wrong, I still do think there are certain things you should know or do or be before you get married at a young age.. Marriage is hard (in all the right ways), it takes maturity, the ability to equally think about your spouses needs along with your own, a great deal of selflessness and compromise.. It isn't something you should jump into with just anyone.. And it shouldn't be done if you aren't ready for a true adult world. Your life will not be all play and no work, it will not be all about you any more.. And you definitely should not have to raise each other. Please do be honest with yourself in the whole decision making process required before you say "I do".. It isn't just all about the wedding day. A marriage is much bigger than that, and the wedding day is gone in the blink of an eye.

With all that said, I would just like to say.. There is no such thing as 27 things you need to do before you get married or they will never ever happen.. Getting married is not a prison, it does not stop you from being you and exploring life.. All it does is give you a partner to do those things with, someone to enjoy experiences with, someone to laugh with, to cry with, to explore with, and so much more. If you view marriage as something that holds you back and inhibits you, I honestly don't know if it will ever be for you no matter what age you are. 

When going into a marriage look at it as an extension in your life. Something to help you grow and discover new ways of living. In my opinion, if you have chosen the correct person, your true partner in crime, marriage can add so much happiness to your life. 

I know i haven't been married long at all, so I am in no way an authority figure on the subject. But I also chose to walk into this wide eyed, and ready for the best. This is a new chapter in my life. And I am so excited to explore it with Kevin. I choose to still do all of those adventurous things, the only difference is I'll have my best friend with me. 

I choose to still go skydiving, travel to Europe, go backpacking, discover new music, watch a TV show I've never heard of, try new food/restaurants, go on scavenger hunts... And so much more. I will still be spontaneous, happy and fulfilled.. I will still shoot for my dream jobs and go for my goals. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is holding me back from any of that. Kevin isn't, where I live isn't.. Nothing. I can still dare to dream and shoot for the stars. And the only thing Kevin is going to do is encourage me, help me along the way, offer ideas and advice, and continue to love me just as much as he does now.. And I will do the exact same thing for him. 

Our future as a married couple is bright and exciting. I have never doubted that it would be through any of the engagement process, or through this first month of marriage. Really, my life hasn't changed much ever since I said "I do" the only thing different is I have my absolute best friend right there next to me every morning, ready to give me a big bear hug and the worlds biggest kiss attack.. 

Just be smart. Do what is right for you. Don't let social media convince you that you need to get married young, or that you shouldn't get married young. Really, it's all just your own perception, and your own needs at the time. Be honest with yourself about what you want. Do it for the right reasons, not the superficial ones, or the ones people are telling you to have. But either way, don't feel bad about it, and don't make others feel bad about what they've chosen either. 

So, is young marriage right or wrong for you? 

For me, it was one of the best decisions I have made so far.. 

Oh, and here's a big Happy One Month Anniversary shout out to my honey, Kevin! We hit one official month of marriage this past Saturday (the 14th).. And we are still going strong ;)