So, lately I have been seeing a lot of posts on the new movement "Porn Kills Love". It's all about speaking out against porn and the damage it can cause to a person and their families/loved ones. And it's been really making me think about my stance on the whole topic and the message this new group is trying to get across.
Now, let my start by saying, I personally do not condone porn. I in no way think it is an okay thing. In fact I think it is very demeaning to any woman or man who participates in it, and I think it is very sad and quite awful that people watch it so regularly and get so addicted to it. Porn is the new drug, there is no doubt about it. You can get addicted to it just like you can get addicted to alcohol or any form of drugs.. I find porn a very disgusting industry.. So with that said, I would now like to tell you my take on why, even though I hate porn, it doesn't need to kill love.
When you think of other addictions such as the ones I stated above (alcohol and drugs) do you think of them killing love? Do you no longer love the people who are close to you in your life that are addicts of some kind? Do you think they no longer love you? I know I certainly don't. I have dealt with a few people very close to me being addicts, and I have watched some of my friends deal with family members as addicts. And while none of it is easy, for either the addict or the loved one, the addiction has never been the thing to kill love.. From what I have seen, the only thing to ever kill love is a person giving up on someone else, and walking away.
I am not saying walking away is always a bad option. Sometimes it is needed. But in my opinion, it should never be the first thing that is done. And your walking away should never be blamed on the addiction itself, it can only ever really be blamed on you. Your decision. Your action. No addiction out there has ever MADE someone give up. It has never MADE someone walk away. No one, and no thing out there can be held responsible for you, except you.
When someone in my life is struggling with any addiction, my first reaction, out of love, is to help them in the ways I can. Encourage them to find help. Talk to them when they need to talk something out. Be there for them if they relapse.
Dealing with an addiction cannot be an easy thing. It is usually a time when someone really needs loving people in there lives helping them get through it. Not having them walk away.
Why should the addiction to porn be viewed as any worse than any other addiction out there? Video games? Alcohol? Drugs? Shopping? Every addiction can be just as damaging as the next. It may appear in different ways, but it can all be devastating in the end. Just because your husband or boyfriend watches porn, doesn't instantly mean he doesn't love you. It just means he has a problem and he needs help.. Often YOUR help. Being the bigger person, stepping up and helping them in their desperate time of need is often the best thing you can do..
I do not believe that many people who view or even read porn are walking into it with the intentions to hurt anyone.. Nor do I believe they ever stop loving anyone because of it either. Often times the way people ever even start viewing porn is by mistake, and it spirals out of control from there..
If I ever found out my husband was having an issue with porn, my first step would be to let him know it is okay for him to come to me for help with it. I wouldn't scream and yell, I wouldn't threaten a divorce.. Yes, I would let him know I was disappointed and that I don't believe porn is okay.. But I would never stop loving him because of it. Instead I'd use the love we have for each other to help both of us through the hard process of trying to get him past the addiction. I feel like that is the best thing I could do for him if he ever had that issue.
Porn does many things, it is many things.. But killing love is not one of those things. Not from what I've seen, and not from what I ever think I'll see. In my opinion I believe that is one of the most cruel ways you could put it. A lot of people struggling with it are already feeling bad enough about life and about themselves.. They do not need people telling them they are killing love for anyone on top of it all. That is much too harsh.
So, by all means, speak out against porn. Be involved in movements to stop this ridiculous industry. But there is no need to be harsh about it. No need to leave someone struggling with it in the dust and all alone.
Just some things to maybe think about.
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