So this past Thursday night I went to go see one of the best bands ever in concert... That's right! It was MUSE! It was absolutely amazing. If you ever get the opportunity to to see them live, take it, don't hesitate, take it! They are incredible. Seriously, he doesn't sound any different. I swear they do absolutely no editing to their songs at all. If you want to see talent they definitely have it. Such an amazing experience. The only thing I'm sad about is the fact that it had to land on such a crappy time.
I went to the concert not in the best spirits because of extremely recent events that have been very emotionally painful. But I went and tried to have a good time.. And while I did, there was a few times I just wanted to cry.. For example, when they played their song "Starlight". I never thought I would relate so strongly to that song. But then again I never thought I'd be in the situation I'm in right now, at least not for the past six months I didn't.
For about the past year and a half I have been extremely sure of what I want in my future. Sure, I do have some things to work on and solidify still, but that doesn't make me any less sure of what I want.. For the last six months I had thought I had found a big piece of what I wanted for myself in the future. I thought I had found the person I wanted to spend my future with. I was so completely sure. I guess I still feel pretty sure.. Even though I don't know why, I have no reason to feel that way anymore, It's just a cruel trick I can't seem to stop playing on myself. Because how can you be sure when that person does not feel the same even in the slightest? Funny how we can be so extremely wrong about things we feel so solid and secure in. This all just feels so surreal.. I keep feeling like I'm dreaming and I'll wake up and everything will still be okay.. But then when it hits me that I'm not dreaming I just want to sit and cry..
Time.. I need time. Time does heal. But I don't want to put that time in.. I just want to skip this part, sleep through it, then wake up when this part is over..
Funny how when you are going through a hard time all you really seem to hear are sad songs... Sad songs! Like that's what you need when you're already depressed. Getting up and going through the day trying to act okay is hard enough without that crap! For instance.. Go look up "What you wanted" by Onerepublic, and "Can't Stop" by Onerepublic. Those are two songs that won't seem to stop going through my head lately. Stupid radio..
Anyway! I guess when God closes one door He opens another right? I'm still sure about what I want in my future. I am just going on a different path to get there than the one I thought I was going on. And now that I have officially been set free it's time for me to walk through that door..
Here we go!!
I'm thinking China? Or maybe Africa? Both have been dreams of mine... Hmm now I just have to decide which one I want more right now. Anyone interested in hearing about what I'd be doing there? Or going with me? I would be very happy to give you information if you want it!
Despite the hurt I am still feeling... I am excited for my next chapter.. I'm looking toward the future with nothing but eagerness...
Just gotta get through the hard part...
And.. Here.. We... Go...
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