Throughout the past few years I have had so many people look at me, and not believe me when I tell them I am content. They don't believe me when I say I have forgiven both myself and others for things that occurred in my past. They just simply don't believe that I have totally moved on, totally content with where my life is going. And so many people have been just totally determined that they were going to convince me that they were right about how I should feel and that I wasn't.
A few people at certain points even had me totally convince that, yeah, they were right. Why wasn't I still mad at that person? I had every right to be! They totally threw me under the bus, ran me over, then backed up over me just for good measure, just to make sure I was no longer breathing... So why shouldn't I have done the same to them? Why aren't those horrid feelings there!? Why didn't I feel anymore guilt and sadness? Why? Why? Why weren't these people right about how I felt?
But no matter how much people badgered me.. No matter how many times people confused me about my feelings on so many situations... Even when I wanted others to be right, when I had convinced myself that I should be mad... I just couldn't ever really feel all of those rotten things. Not really.. Because they weren't ever really there. And oddly enough, I was totally okay with that.
There are very very few people in this world that know my whole story. People know bits and pieces. But they don't know it all. Those who do know everything were those who were literally there, and that adds up to maybe about four or five people. And those are the only people out there that never ever tried to convince me that I should be angry... Even though they were the ones who literally saw all of my cause to be mad... I think maybe they were just in the exact same boat I was in. We definitely had that in common.
I think once you've been through Hell.. Or even just witnessed those going through it... You'll realize that the absolute last thing you want to do is carry even the littlest bit of it with you. And when you are holding on to anger, or sadness, you are carrying Hell out with you. Those flames continue to engulf you and pull you down even after you thought you were standing up and walking again.
Funny how once you've danced with the devil, that's when you wake up and really see... That's when you open up your eyes and just simply let go.
I think finally people are starting to see me as I really am. I carry no anger. I carry no hatred. None of that. But I'm not going to say that all I carry is absolute love and never ending peace either... While I do try to always carry those things with me at all times, I am only human and I slip sometimes.. No... The thing I carry with me always is strength. And that strength came from surviving Hell. That strength came from absolute forgiveness.
I am so far from perfect and I never expect to become perfect, simply because that isn't possible for any human being, and I totally recognize that. I don't have all the answers and I never will. But I can definitely say that happiness, love, kindness, acceptance.. All of that... Can never come from anyone else. It can only ever come from you. And if you are clinging to all of the bad things in life, or all of the bad things that once over came you in the past... There is no way you will reach the good.
Why?
Because in those moments when you cling to your grudge, you are looking to someone else to fix your problem. You are looking to them to tell you how sorry they are, or how much they love you, or that they would take the hurt away if they could.. But what if they did? What if they gave you exactly what you've been telling yourself you needed them to do? Would your hurt and pain or your sadness just instantly be lifted? The answer is no, no you wouldn't. Because just because someone wronged you in the past, just because they cause you pain in that one moment, that doesn't mean they are responsible for everything you are carrying now. That is all you. And you are the only one who can fix it.
The same goes for if you are every the one who hurts someone else. You cannot turn to the person you wronged to take away the guilt you are filled with. Especially if you have done all you can do to remedy the situation. It is not up to them. It never was. They may never give you the forgiveness you crave... And even if they did, the ultimate forgiveness always comes from within.
Everything comes from inside you. All of your hurt, all of your happiness... Everything. No matter how much we would like to shove everything on to someone else. No matter how much we would just love to give someone else all of the blame... It isn't their fault, and it never, ever was.
The key to a blissful life is learning how to stand in the middle of a storm, yet never letting any of it touch you, and never internalizing any of it.
You can walk down the streets tomorrow feeling totally content. You can totally forgive yourself tomorrow even if someone else hasn't. You can totally move on tomorrow even if they haven't. You can totally love yourself tomorrow even if they don't. You just have to stop looking at them, and simply look at yourself.
Because in order to have someone absolutely love the Hell out of you... You must first love the Hell out of yourself.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Why I am not a fan of organized religion.. The accepted insanity.
Let me just start off by saying no this is not one of those witty blog posts, where the title says one thing, then the content of the post ends up meaning something totally different. No. The title means exactly what it says, and the content of this post will be sticking to just that. So I can pretty much guarantee that any person belonging to a specific religion may not care for this post. Unless of course you are one of the open minded few that belong to a religion. Now I say that you probably will not like this post.. But I also want to point out that I in no way intend to disrespect anyone, or bash anyone's belief system in anyway. If you have been a dedicated reader of mine you will know that I am a very strong believer in people living their life in ways that they see fit, and also finding (or not finding) God in whatever way they see fit. Each person is a completely unique individual, and no one person should ever be expected to mold themselves into something they are not.
Now lets get down to the business I intended to write about in this particular post. I, myself, am not a particular fan of any organized religion, or any religion which sends people out door to door trying to convert others to their religion. And yes I do know what I am talking about when I say this. I belonged to the Mormon church for the better part of my life, I have friends that are strong believers of the Catholic religion, I have spoken with Jehovah's Witnesses, I have read about Muslim's, I have read about many forms of Christianity, every Atheist I know was once a strong believer of a religion, I have seriously looked into Buddhism simply because Buddha is one of my idols ... I could probably keep going... While I may not be a complete expert on every religion, and I do not claim to be.. But I do know enough to know what I am talking about when I say the things I say.
Religion has always fascinated me. Not just my own religion when I was LDS... Every single religion out there. I always wondered why people would do the things they would do for their religion or "in the name of God". I always wondered how different groups would come up with a different concept of God, and different ways to worship him. I guess when it comes down to it, the human mind, and the human condition, both fascinate me... And religion just so happens to be something that seems to be so very huge in a persons life in some form or another. Whether it is hating a religion, studying religions, or belonging to one. There are very few people out there that are completely neutral when it comes to religious beliefs. And that has always fascinated me.
I am forever looking into new religions... Continuing research on ones that I already know about... Asking people questions about their religion. I just want to know more, because i want to know what makes people tick, what captures people to believe so strongly that they claim to know without any doubt in their mind that their religion is true and that everyone who believes differently is just simply wrong..
I would like to point out before I keep going that this is in no way an invitation for anyone to come at me with their beliefs. I am not asking to be "converted" to anyone's religion. I know what I believe, I know where I stand. You yourself are reading this post completely by choice, I am not asking you to join in my beliefs, or to renounce your religion. So I would ask that you do not pressure me, as I do not intend to pressure you in anyway.
I will continue by saying I am a proud Ex-Mormon. I belonged to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints up until I was about 17 years old. Even though I knew I didn't want to be an active member about when I was 12. Why did I leave? Well that is another story for another day. You may come to me personally if you have any questions, but this particular post is not meant to focus on any one religion alone. I only say that I am an Ex-Mormon simply to inform you that I have once been on the other end of things. I have been involved in organized religion.
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So why have I decided throughout time that I don't care for any form of organized religion? Well.. It basically boils down to a few things that they all have in common.
1. If you were to sit down with two people that belonged to the exact same religion, two true believers, and you were to ask them the exact same question, they would both give you a totally different answer. Why? Because religion is completely man made. It is based off of a mans idea of God. And each person, being the individuals we are, will resonate with everything differently. Therefore each person will interpret every piece of doctrine differently. Each person will interpret it in the way that they are comfortable, in the way that makes them feel good. So if each person in one religion sees things differently from the others, how is it really organized? It isn't. In a way it is just a bunch of mini religions all coexisting inside of the base of a different religion.
2. Why should anyone be expected to conform to one mans idea of God? Every religion out there has a leader. Someone that is there to tell them what to do, what to say, what they can and cannot eat, what is wrong, and what is right, how to pray, what religious book contains the truth, and so on. All of us have been put on this Earth without having all the answers. We just do what we can with what we are given. Each of us learns differently, we all have different strengths and weaknesses, we all find answers in different things. So why should anyone have to follow so blindly with anything? No real freedom to explore, no real freedom to ask questions? Why should anyone have to follow one person with so much fear to step out of bounds. You're supposed to have free agency right? So use it. To be following blindly, is to be in a cult.
3. Fear. I have not heard of one religion that hasn't used fear in some way. Whether it is saying that if you leave you will be damned to Hell, or if you leave you will become a slug in your next life, or if you break this doctrine you will be exed... The list goes on and on.. Why are religions using fear if they are supposed to be a positive thing? Why are people being kicked out when they make one mistake? Why are people basically being told that they are supposed to be perfect all while they are also taught that perfection isn't to be achieved in this life? It's a mind game. And mind games are never healthy. They are never right. You are not an experiment, so why are you allowing people to treat you like one?
4. The false kindness. When you belong to a religion, you are supposedly friends with all of the members. Supposedly everyone loves you and embraces you in their lives. But the minute someone finds out you either left their religion, or you never belonged, you are suddenly the scum of the Earth. Why should you have to associate yourself with people who never really cared anyway?
5. The constant change in doctrine. The world is forever changing. What is and isn't exceptable is always going to be different. Laws are always changing. Fashion is always changing. So religion molds right along with the world.. Religion is not constant. Yet basically every religion out there claims to be "the one true church"... If it is the one true church why did it have to change? If it was perfect, the church would not have to change with the world. If the world is so imperfect why is your church molding to fit in with all of the imperfections? If it is the complete and total truth there would be no need to try and fit in. There would be no need to be changing doctrine that was once preached to be the absolute truth. Something to think about..
6. The dark truths. People join a religion because of the happy fluff it teaches. They join because they are promised that they will stay with their family forever, or because they will go straight to heaven, or because they are promised to be given all sorts of blessings.. Who wouldn't want to join that!? It's good and happy and it is meant to take away all of your fear, worries, and doubts. But what people don't look at is their churches past.. They don't ask the questions they are told not ask... They don't look at the deleted doctrine... They don't look at the stories of ex members... They don't look at any of that. Because no one wants to know the truth once they are in. No one wants something bad to be touching what they once thought was so pure. Why aren't you supposed to ask those questions? Why do those missionaries not seem to have an answer for that? What is being hidden in the shadows?
7. The crazy things people will do for their church, and the invasion of privacy. People always say that terrorists are insane fanatics. While I am not trying to say they aren't... I would like to point out that basically all terrorists are just following what the leaders of their religion are telling them to do. They believe with their entire heart and soul that they are doing the right thing. They believe that they will be amazingly blessed. They believe that those they kill are evil and contaminating the world... Now that I have pointed that out I would like to tell you that your religion, along with every other religion out there is doing the exact same thing. It may not be in such an obvious or extreme way but it is happening. Each person that is being asked to go on a mission of any kind is being a kind of fanatic. They are willing to spend practically an endless amount of money, give up a huge chunk of their life, just to go pounding on doors hoping someone will listen. If you lose your life in that time "it was for God". People that pay an sort of tithing are told that it is for God and their perfect religion. If you are told you can't eat or drink something it is because "God deemed it wrong or impure"... The list goes on. Everyone out there has done, or is doing, something crazy for their religion. Something that should not be asked of them, because it is not up to them. And a lot of times in doing this they are completely and inappropriately invading someone else's life. What gives you the right to go constantly knocking on someone's door to tell them that they are living their life wrong, that their religion is wrong, and that they need to start blindly following you? You wouldn't like it if someone just ran right up to you, basically started telling you that you were stupid, that everything you've always believed is wrong and so on.. News flash people. If someone wants to join your religion, they will on their own, if someone has questions they'll ask on their own. You don't have to so deeply invade someone's life and so often tear a family unit apart. That isn't the way to do it. But people do.. Because in the end we are all fanatics. Just like every terrorist out there.
I could probably keep going. But I won't. I think I have gotten my main points out there. In the end you can tell that I just don't agree with it. But if a specific religion resonates with you, if saying you belong to a religion brings you peace, I have no right to try and take that from you. I personally just do not believe that is the way to go, for all of the reasons above and so many more.. Even when I belonged to a religion, I didn't really... Because the whole time I was forming my own religion and my own beliefs.
At this point in my life I am so much happier than I was. I have a strong and deeply personal connection with God that I never had before. My beliefs and connection do not depend upon what anyone tells me to think or do. My doctrine is not confined to one book. I am completely free to worship how I may with no one judging me. And to me that is so much healthier than any organized religion. I am free. And I could not be happier. I have no plans to ever go back to any form of religion. Why would I now that I have a taste of how much better off I can be. God has saved me, and it didn't take belonging to the LDS church, or the Catholic church... It actually took leaving and looking outside the box. It took being brave enough to do what no one else dared to do. It took allowing myself to just be me.
Why did I write this post? Well because I watch everyone else out there freely talk about what the believe and how they believe it. It seems to be taught that it is okay to talk about your personal religious beliefs as long as you belong to a specific religion, even if you may be seriously offending everyone while you do it. But it is frowned upon for anyone outside of religion to talk about anything they believe. Well I decided that was complete bull. If everyone else can openly talk about their thoughts and beliefs, why can't I? That's a good question... I know.
Now lets get down to the business I intended to write about in this particular post. I, myself, am not a particular fan of any organized religion, or any religion which sends people out door to door trying to convert others to their religion. And yes I do know what I am talking about when I say this. I belonged to the Mormon church for the better part of my life, I have friends that are strong believers of the Catholic religion, I have spoken with Jehovah's Witnesses, I have read about Muslim's, I have read about many forms of Christianity, every Atheist I know was once a strong believer of a religion, I have seriously looked into Buddhism simply because Buddha is one of my idols ... I could probably keep going... While I may not be a complete expert on every religion, and I do not claim to be.. But I do know enough to know what I am talking about when I say the things I say.
Religion has always fascinated me. Not just my own religion when I was LDS... Every single religion out there. I always wondered why people would do the things they would do for their religion or "in the name of God". I always wondered how different groups would come up with a different concept of God, and different ways to worship him. I guess when it comes down to it, the human mind, and the human condition, both fascinate me... And religion just so happens to be something that seems to be so very huge in a persons life in some form or another. Whether it is hating a religion, studying religions, or belonging to one. There are very few people out there that are completely neutral when it comes to religious beliefs. And that has always fascinated me.
I am forever looking into new religions... Continuing research on ones that I already know about... Asking people questions about their religion. I just want to know more, because i want to know what makes people tick, what captures people to believe so strongly that they claim to know without any doubt in their mind that their religion is true and that everyone who believes differently is just simply wrong..
I would like to point out before I keep going that this is in no way an invitation for anyone to come at me with their beliefs. I am not asking to be "converted" to anyone's religion. I know what I believe, I know where I stand. You yourself are reading this post completely by choice, I am not asking you to join in my beliefs, or to renounce your religion. So I would ask that you do not pressure me, as I do not intend to pressure you in anyway.
I will continue by saying I am a proud Ex-Mormon. I belonged to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints up until I was about 17 years old. Even though I knew I didn't want to be an active member about when I was 12. Why did I leave? Well that is another story for another day. You may come to me personally if you have any questions, but this particular post is not meant to focus on any one religion alone. I only say that I am an Ex-Mormon simply to inform you that I have once been on the other end of things. I have been involved in organized religion.
So why have I decided throughout time that I don't care for any form of organized religion? Well.. It basically boils down to a few things that they all have in common.
1. If you were to sit down with two people that belonged to the exact same religion, two true believers, and you were to ask them the exact same question, they would both give you a totally different answer. Why? Because religion is completely man made. It is based off of a mans idea of God. And each person, being the individuals we are, will resonate with everything differently. Therefore each person will interpret every piece of doctrine differently. Each person will interpret it in the way that they are comfortable, in the way that makes them feel good. So if each person in one religion sees things differently from the others, how is it really organized? It isn't. In a way it is just a bunch of mini religions all coexisting inside of the base of a different religion.
2. Why should anyone be expected to conform to one mans idea of God? Every religion out there has a leader. Someone that is there to tell them what to do, what to say, what they can and cannot eat, what is wrong, and what is right, how to pray, what religious book contains the truth, and so on. All of us have been put on this Earth without having all the answers. We just do what we can with what we are given. Each of us learns differently, we all have different strengths and weaknesses, we all find answers in different things. So why should anyone have to follow so blindly with anything? No real freedom to explore, no real freedom to ask questions? Why should anyone have to follow one person with so much fear to step out of bounds. You're supposed to have free agency right? So use it. To be following blindly, is to be in a cult.
3. Fear. I have not heard of one religion that hasn't used fear in some way. Whether it is saying that if you leave you will be damned to Hell, or if you leave you will become a slug in your next life, or if you break this doctrine you will be exed... The list goes on and on.. Why are religions using fear if they are supposed to be a positive thing? Why are people being kicked out when they make one mistake? Why are people basically being told that they are supposed to be perfect all while they are also taught that perfection isn't to be achieved in this life? It's a mind game. And mind games are never healthy. They are never right. You are not an experiment, so why are you allowing people to treat you like one?
4. The false kindness. When you belong to a religion, you are supposedly friends with all of the members. Supposedly everyone loves you and embraces you in their lives. But the minute someone finds out you either left their religion, or you never belonged, you are suddenly the scum of the Earth. Why should you have to associate yourself with people who never really cared anyway?
5. The constant change in doctrine. The world is forever changing. What is and isn't exceptable is always going to be different. Laws are always changing. Fashion is always changing. So religion molds right along with the world.. Religion is not constant. Yet basically every religion out there claims to be "the one true church"... If it is the one true church why did it have to change? If it was perfect, the church would not have to change with the world. If the world is so imperfect why is your church molding to fit in with all of the imperfections? If it is the complete and total truth there would be no need to try and fit in. There would be no need to be changing doctrine that was once preached to be the absolute truth. Something to think about..
6. The dark truths. People join a religion because of the happy fluff it teaches. They join because they are promised that they will stay with their family forever, or because they will go straight to heaven, or because they are promised to be given all sorts of blessings.. Who wouldn't want to join that!? It's good and happy and it is meant to take away all of your fear, worries, and doubts. But what people don't look at is their churches past.. They don't ask the questions they are told not ask... They don't look at the deleted doctrine... They don't look at the stories of ex members... They don't look at any of that. Because no one wants to know the truth once they are in. No one wants something bad to be touching what they once thought was so pure. Why aren't you supposed to ask those questions? Why do those missionaries not seem to have an answer for that? What is being hidden in the shadows?
7. The crazy things people will do for their church, and the invasion of privacy. People always say that terrorists are insane fanatics. While I am not trying to say they aren't... I would like to point out that basically all terrorists are just following what the leaders of their religion are telling them to do. They believe with their entire heart and soul that they are doing the right thing. They believe that they will be amazingly blessed. They believe that those they kill are evil and contaminating the world... Now that I have pointed that out I would like to tell you that your religion, along with every other religion out there is doing the exact same thing. It may not be in such an obvious or extreme way but it is happening. Each person that is being asked to go on a mission of any kind is being a kind of fanatic. They are willing to spend practically an endless amount of money, give up a huge chunk of their life, just to go pounding on doors hoping someone will listen. If you lose your life in that time "it was for God". People that pay an sort of tithing are told that it is for God and their perfect religion. If you are told you can't eat or drink something it is because "God deemed it wrong or impure"... The list goes on. Everyone out there has done, or is doing, something crazy for their religion. Something that should not be asked of them, because it is not up to them. And a lot of times in doing this they are completely and inappropriately invading someone else's life. What gives you the right to go constantly knocking on someone's door to tell them that they are living their life wrong, that their religion is wrong, and that they need to start blindly following you? You wouldn't like it if someone just ran right up to you, basically started telling you that you were stupid, that everything you've always believed is wrong and so on.. News flash people. If someone wants to join your religion, they will on their own, if someone has questions they'll ask on their own. You don't have to so deeply invade someone's life and so often tear a family unit apart. That isn't the way to do it. But people do.. Because in the end we are all fanatics. Just like every terrorist out there.
I could probably keep going. But I won't. I think I have gotten my main points out there. In the end you can tell that I just don't agree with it. But if a specific religion resonates with you, if saying you belong to a religion brings you peace, I have no right to try and take that from you. I personally just do not believe that is the way to go, for all of the reasons above and so many more.. Even when I belonged to a religion, I didn't really... Because the whole time I was forming my own religion and my own beliefs.
At this point in my life I am so much happier than I was. I have a strong and deeply personal connection with God that I never had before. My beliefs and connection do not depend upon what anyone tells me to think or do. My doctrine is not confined to one book. I am completely free to worship how I may with no one judging me. And to me that is so much healthier than any organized religion. I am free. And I could not be happier. I have no plans to ever go back to any form of religion. Why would I now that I have a taste of how much better off I can be. God has saved me, and it didn't take belonging to the LDS church, or the Catholic church... It actually took leaving and looking outside the box. It took being brave enough to do what no one else dared to do. It took allowing myself to just be me.
Why did I write this post? Well because I watch everyone else out there freely talk about what the believe and how they believe it. It seems to be taught that it is okay to talk about your personal religious beliefs as long as you belong to a specific religion, even if you may be seriously offending everyone while you do it. But it is frowned upon for anyone outside of religion to talk about anything they believe. Well I decided that was complete bull. If everyone else can openly talk about their thoughts and beliefs, why can't I? That's a good question... I know.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Life is.. Well, Life..
Honestly, I have gone through a period in my life where all I could think was "Why me?". Everything always seemed to be going wrong. People would leave me, or let me down. I was always letting myself down. Goals seemed so far out of reach. I gave up on dreams. Anxiety was always filling my thoughts and actions, completely overwhelming me. No words were ever inspiring. Things I had once enjoyed seemed mundane. I felt like I was being slapped in the face over and over again. I never wanted to get out of bed.
That light at the end of the tunnel.. Yeah well.. That didn't exist for me.
People would tell me things like "turn to God" or "you just need to get up and try. Time heals and It'll get better."... Well little did they know that it just isn't that easy once you've gone down the road I was going down. You can't just flip a switch and be fine. Those answers that people give like "pray about it" gave me nothing.
I was spiraling out of control...
Basically since my childhood I have felt like I needed to grow up extremely fast, and so that's what I did. Things were never easy at home. And once I hit fifth grade, school stopped having any kind of appeal as well. I was pretty much always that awkward girl that everyone made fun of. And even when I was just a pre-teen I felt like I really needed to carry a lot of my families issues on my shoulders. Then when it came time to date all I did was get myself into abusive relationship after abusive relationship.. If it wasn't physically abusive, it was emotionally. I just didn't know what I was doing.. I had never been taught what love was supposed to look like, or how to have enough self respect to know that I deserved far better. But hey.. I was always taught that hiding your emotions, and burying things so that no one could see was always the way to fix my problems.
I was really okay for the most part. Or at least so I thought until I was finally out of High School and forced to really look at life and think about it. I had too much time to just be in my head with my relentless thoughts, along with the never ending darkness that hovered above my home and my family.
The small light I had was being completely doused.. But I kept pushing forward. Determined to be okay or at least seem like I was okay. I continued to carry so much on my shoulders. I continued to do everything in my power to protect my little sister from the same torment I was feeling every day. I continued to tell everyone I was fine... I continued to lie to myself.
I was caught in a relentless storm. And that is when the darkness really hit.
My story, my background, has never been very pretty. Basically no one knows about everything, except of course, for those who were there. But I was never completely aware of how much I was enduring, how much I was allowing myself to endure, even when I probably didn't need to.
Trust me when I say that I have been down the darkest road a person can go down. At least mentally and emotionally..
But now.. I can safely and completely truthfully say that I am not longer there.
I learned that well... Life.. Life is just life.
The universe is never out to get you. People may do harmful things to you, but really, everything after that one specific moment of harm, the place any remaining pain is coming from is yourself. You may have a bad day, but one day does not make a bad life...
Basically all hurt and pain we experience really comes from ourselves.. Our mind sets. It comes from nothing else, and no one else.
Even when someone does something to hurt you, you DO NOT have to take it to heart. You do not have to have an issue with anything that anyone else does or says. It is not your problem, whether it is directed at you or not. You cannot control anyone else, you can only control you.. So focus on that.
Forgiveness really is the best weapon. The last thing a person trying to hurt you wants to see, is a genuine smile plastered on your face. If someone is aiming to hurt you, do not give them the satisfaction.
You cannot blame anyone else for your problems. Because the only one holding onto it is you. If your parent didn't teach you how to add 2 and 2, you cannot blame them for you not knowing the answer. That is not their problem. The only reason the problem still exists is because you didn't do anything to fix the issue.
In the end, everyone is dealing with their own problems. Everyone is experiencing hurt and pain of every kind, everyday. And those people who hold onto the past are the ones that are often hurting the most.
Whenever a storm is raging around you, remember that you never have to internalize it. A storm can be raging, and you can stand in the middle of it without it ever touching you. She's yelling? Cool. That's her issue. He dumped you? Cool. That's his problem because another man is going to find you and treat you better than he ever did.
Life is life guys.. It's never perfect. It's messy. Trust me.. I have learned these things the hard way. Once you learn to just accept.. It becomes so much easier.
And always remember.. The past is the past. Every second that ticks by is already the past. In fact this is in the past already..
So let go. And breathe.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Perceptions
Really, there is no right and there is no wrong. Not when you really look at things. There are only perceptions and opinions of each perception.
Think about it, and think about it critically. Here's an example: Imagine there is a doctor out there some where, at some hospital, and he has been working with a patient that has some form of cancer. Finally he is able to cure the patient and kill the cancer that has been living inside them. I think most everyone would say that the doctor was a hero, and that he did a good thing by killing the cancer. We as a society can agree that cancer is a bad thing that none of us want to face. So that was a good thing that he killed it right? Well you could just as easily say that the doctor was bad and wrong, because he killed the cancer. Though we may look at cancer as a bad thing, really it is just a living thing, trying to survive. So it was still a murder of a living thing.
I am not in any way trying to justify cancer, or say it isn't as bad as we make it out to be. I agree with the large population when they say that that cancer is a thing that should not exist. I am just trying to make you think critically.. I am just trying to say that everything is all about perception, and point of view. So stay with me here.
Here is another example of sorts: Cancer really is just good cells gone bad. Or some would say too many good cells trying to grow and multiply too much to the point where they become bad, because really, when you look at it, too much of any good thing can always be bad. But there are also other cells in our bodies that grow quickly too, such as hair. In cancer treatments a person will lose their hair, along with the unwanted cancer cells. So does that make hair a bad thing too? Most people would say no, in fact I think all people would say no. Just like everyone would say cancer is bad. But the hair cells are being killed too, because really when it comes down to it cancer, and hair are both the same thing. Quickly growing cells.
Point of view my friends. It's all in the point of view.
That's why there is no right or wrong. No good or bad. Just perceptions, and this invisible code of those things that we as the human species have made.
A completely different example could be terrorists. Once again, I think we can all agree they are bad, and doing horrible and destructive things. But in their heads they are not, all they are doing is serving their country, and often times their religion. They are doing something good, according to themselves and their culture. It's the same thing with anyone that participates in say, a shooting at a school. It is always justified in the persons head. They view it as good in some way. You may not be able to understand it, but in the end that doesn't matter, because they do. In their heads, they are doing good.
You may say God does exist, and that you are right, and that believing in God and whatever else your specific religion teaches is the right thing to do. But someone else will always be there to say that you are wrong, for x amount of reasons, and like you are correct in your head, they will always be correct in their own head.
There will always be perceptions, and an invisible line of right and wrong. Even though in the end there really is no such thing... It is all just something we have established over time to hopefully create some kind of order. We as human beings are just programmed that way, we can't help ourselves. We need a sense of community, and we need a sense of structure in order to stay sane.
And that is okay.. I am not saying there is anything wrong with it. Basically all I am trying to say is that maybe we just take it all a bit too far. We start thinking no one else is right, and that we are the only person with the answers. Our minds become closed, and we build prejudices and create hate. We form opinions that we start to try and teach as fact.. And in those things, that is where the problems lie.
Try to remember everything is just a perception the next time you are about to judge someone... And try to remember that just because you may disagree with something, that doesn't always make it wrong. The day that this world becomes more open minded may never happen, but if it does, that'll be the day that so many problems are fixed...
Think about it, and think about it critically. Here's an example: Imagine there is a doctor out there some where, at some hospital, and he has been working with a patient that has some form of cancer. Finally he is able to cure the patient and kill the cancer that has been living inside them. I think most everyone would say that the doctor was a hero, and that he did a good thing by killing the cancer. We as a society can agree that cancer is a bad thing that none of us want to face. So that was a good thing that he killed it right? Well you could just as easily say that the doctor was bad and wrong, because he killed the cancer. Though we may look at cancer as a bad thing, really it is just a living thing, trying to survive. So it was still a murder of a living thing.
I am not in any way trying to justify cancer, or say it isn't as bad as we make it out to be. I agree with the large population when they say that that cancer is a thing that should not exist. I am just trying to make you think critically.. I am just trying to say that everything is all about perception, and point of view. So stay with me here.
Here is another example of sorts: Cancer really is just good cells gone bad. Or some would say too many good cells trying to grow and multiply too much to the point where they become bad, because really, when you look at it, too much of any good thing can always be bad. But there are also other cells in our bodies that grow quickly too, such as hair. In cancer treatments a person will lose their hair, along with the unwanted cancer cells. So does that make hair a bad thing too? Most people would say no, in fact I think all people would say no. Just like everyone would say cancer is bad. But the hair cells are being killed too, because really when it comes down to it cancer, and hair are both the same thing. Quickly growing cells.
Point of view my friends. It's all in the point of view.
That's why there is no right or wrong. No good or bad. Just perceptions, and this invisible code of those things that we as the human species have made.
A completely different example could be terrorists. Once again, I think we can all agree they are bad, and doing horrible and destructive things. But in their heads they are not, all they are doing is serving their country, and often times their religion. They are doing something good, according to themselves and their culture. It's the same thing with anyone that participates in say, a shooting at a school. It is always justified in the persons head. They view it as good in some way. You may not be able to understand it, but in the end that doesn't matter, because they do. In their heads, they are doing good.
You may say God does exist, and that you are right, and that believing in God and whatever else your specific religion teaches is the right thing to do. But someone else will always be there to say that you are wrong, for x amount of reasons, and like you are correct in your head, they will always be correct in their own head.
There will always be perceptions, and an invisible line of right and wrong. Even though in the end there really is no such thing... It is all just something we have established over time to hopefully create some kind of order. We as human beings are just programmed that way, we can't help ourselves. We need a sense of community, and we need a sense of structure in order to stay sane.
And that is okay.. I am not saying there is anything wrong with it. Basically all I am trying to say is that maybe we just take it all a bit too far. We start thinking no one else is right, and that we are the only person with the answers. Our minds become closed, and we build prejudices and create hate. We form opinions that we start to try and teach as fact.. And in those things, that is where the problems lie.
Try to remember everything is just a perception the next time you are about to judge someone... And try to remember that just because you may disagree with something, that doesn't always make it wrong. The day that this world becomes more open minded may never happen, but if it does, that'll be the day that so many problems are fixed...
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
The Vast Universe
What is the universe? What is reality? What religion is true? What is fact and what is opinion? What is truth and what is a lie? The great questions of life... At least in my opinion..
And lets face it. Every single person on this planet would give you a totally different answer to each of those questions. One person would say the Roman Catholic church is the true religion, another would say Buddism is the true religion and so on and so forth.. But then someone else would come along to challenge both of those views, and after digging even deeper they would find that each person in both religions see even their own religion differently from others who belong to the same one... One person would say reality is simply just formed from everything that has a true existence on this Earth. But what truly exists? What one person may say exists, another would say it doesn't. What may seem to be a fact to another person, such as God does exist, is a complete opinion to another. What one person may consider a truth, will always have falsehoods to another... One may say the universe contains all of the stars, and planets, and moons, and galaxies.. But then another person would come along and tell them that we have only reached 5% of the universe, so how do we really know what all of it contains?
Then we would spiral around again to all of the other questions, because they are truly linked.. If we only know of 5% of the universe, how could we know that the God of one religion is the true one? Because 5% is truly so small, and we have no clue what other life could be out there worshiping a completely different God in the unknown universe. So then is what we know of the universe truly conclusive fact, or is it just opinion based off of what little we do know... And on and on it goes. Spiraling out of control.
But truly all of this could have such a simple answer if we are willing enough to see it like that. What is the universe? Well.. The universe is in our own minds. There is absolutely nothing, no picture, no teaching, no opinion, no fact, no story, that doesn't get processed by our minds and spirits. So of course the universe is all in our minds. It is unique to every individual. Because our realities are truly our own, because we create them. Everyone will always give a different answer to every question. Not one of us is programmed the same. Your universe is your own. Don't let anyone take that from you.
Dare to be different. Because in the end we are all connected. We each have a little piece of God in us. We all have a different purpose, we all have a unique story, we all have unique thoughts, we are all meant to teach something and learn something. Everything is so huge that not one of us could possibly have all the answers, and we aren't meant to. That is why life is only part of the journey, and a truly short part at that. We will all continue to grow, and put pieces together. Because that is all we have, we only have pieces.. And each of us is trying to put together this never ending, incomplete, puzzle in a different way.
So worship how you may. Teach how you will. Love how you want. But don't forget that you will never be completely correct with anything to anyone but yourself. Everything has a piece of truth to it, and a piece of a lie to it all at the same time.
What one person may say is true, could be completely true to them, but it does not have to be true to you. Truths are circumstantial, just like every fact, and every opinion.
This is your universe. Make of it what you will.
And lets face it. Every single person on this planet would give you a totally different answer to each of those questions. One person would say the Roman Catholic church is the true religion, another would say Buddism is the true religion and so on and so forth.. But then someone else would come along to challenge both of those views, and after digging even deeper they would find that each person in both religions see even their own religion differently from others who belong to the same one... One person would say reality is simply just formed from everything that has a true existence on this Earth. But what truly exists? What one person may say exists, another would say it doesn't. What may seem to be a fact to another person, such as God does exist, is a complete opinion to another. What one person may consider a truth, will always have falsehoods to another... One may say the universe contains all of the stars, and planets, and moons, and galaxies.. But then another person would come along and tell them that we have only reached 5% of the universe, so how do we really know what all of it contains?
Then we would spiral around again to all of the other questions, because they are truly linked.. If we only know of 5% of the universe, how could we know that the God of one religion is the true one? Because 5% is truly so small, and we have no clue what other life could be out there worshiping a completely different God in the unknown universe. So then is what we know of the universe truly conclusive fact, or is it just opinion based off of what little we do know... And on and on it goes. Spiraling out of control.
But truly all of this could have such a simple answer if we are willing enough to see it like that. What is the universe? Well.. The universe is in our own minds. There is absolutely nothing, no picture, no teaching, no opinion, no fact, no story, that doesn't get processed by our minds and spirits. So of course the universe is all in our minds. It is unique to every individual. Because our realities are truly our own, because we create them. Everyone will always give a different answer to every question. Not one of us is programmed the same. Your universe is your own. Don't let anyone take that from you.
Dare to be different. Because in the end we are all connected. We each have a little piece of God in us. We all have a different purpose, we all have a unique story, we all have unique thoughts, we are all meant to teach something and learn something. Everything is so huge that not one of us could possibly have all the answers, and we aren't meant to. That is why life is only part of the journey, and a truly short part at that. We will all continue to grow, and put pieces together. Because that is all we have, we only have pieces.. And each of us is trying to put together this never ending, incomplete, puzzle in a different way.
So worship how you may. Teach how you will. Love how you want. But don't forget that you will never be completely correct with anything to anyone but yourself. Everything has a piece of truth to it, and a piece of a lie to it all at the same time.
What one person may say is true, could be completely true to them, but it does not have to be true to you. Truths are circumstantial, just like every fact, and every opinion.
This is your universe. Make of it what you will.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
The Condition of The Human Mind: Thought
I've been learning a lot about life lately. About the way we as humans think and do things. About the rut we have all put ourselves in.. But most importantly I have been learning how to change all of that, and how to become better.
So I've decided that I should share it with all of you. Take from it what you may. I personally have found all of it fascinating and life changing. I seriously go about my life differently each day. And I have come to realize that the world is oh so very different than what I thought..
I'm going to start with a picture:
So I've decided that I should share it with all of you. Take from it what you may. I personally have found all of it fascinating and life changing. I seriously go about my life differently each day. And I have come to realize that the world is oh so very different than what I thought..
I'm going to start with a picture:
Now all you have to do is answer a simple question, what is in the picture?
The answer should be simple, it's a snowflake right? Just a snowflake, nothing special. So why am I asking you to tell me what's in the picture?
Well... What if I was to tell you that you are wrong. It isn't a snowflake at all...
Look again... And think about it.
Has your answer changed? If you get where I'm going by now then it should have. But a lot of people don't see it until it's explained..
So let me explain. It isn't a snowflake. Not really. All it is is a picture of a snowflake. Not an actual snowflake. Therefore when your automatic answer is to say it's a snowflake, you are wrong.
All of us have thousands, millions, even billions of thoughts go through our head, everyday, all day, from the moment we wake up. They are just zipping through at the speed of light. Take this moment right now for instance, and look out the window. What do you see? Perhaps you see grass, or cars, or birds. Whatever it is you see your mind will automatically send you a thought saying "oh it's a bird" or "oh it's grass".
But see... Here's the thing. These thoughts are not your thoughts at all. Not even close. They are your brains thoughts. Thoughts that every single human being has every single day. They are an automated response, just like with the picture of the snowflake. You had an automatic response "oh it's a snowflake".
Do you get where I'm going with this?
A lot of things people would call a thought are really just our minds filtering things.
So if those aren't our thoughts, then do we even have thoughts, real thoughts? Well yes, of course we do. Provided that we aren't one of those people that just glide through life without wanting to challenge anything. Because the only time when we have a thought of our own is when we challenge.
Like when I told you your answer that the picture was a snowflake was wrong. That was a challenge. Some of you jumped to it. You challenged yourself, you took a step back, you thought critically, and you came to the conclusion that it wasn't a snowflake at all, but just a picture in the shape of a snowflake.
This is the condition of the human mind, of human beings in general. We all do it. All the time. All day. But the goal is to stop that, and challenge.. Stop and say "is it.. is it really?"
That is the truth of the human condition.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The Fleeting Facts.
The sad truth is that I notice a lot more deaths and losses right around the holidays... I don't know if you've noticed it too, or if it's just me. But the past few years I have been to too many funerals, and heard of too many deaths.. And it all for people I have known, and some I have even grown up with. And it's hard.. Especially because it all seems to land during the Holiday's, the time when you are super focused on family. Death is already hard. But it is an even bigger slap in the face when it's around the time you are looking to your family the most.
In my opinion there has been far too many deaths over the past couple of years. And my heart really does go out to those who have lost a loved one. I know it isn't easy. I have dealt with my share of death.. And while I realize people die every day, just like people are born every day.. It doesn't really hit home until someone you know dies. And then it is suddenly a very surreal thing. Suddenly it is very personal.. And very unfair.
But it's been making me think... Think about life and how fleeting it really is. I mean I think we all know in the back of our heads that time is short. We know it. We just block it out. Because, really, who wants to think about that right? The goal of life is to be happy. And dwelling on death, or the fact the your life really isn't that long, is frankly really depressing.
While I realize no one wants to think about that, I do think we should think about it a little bit more. I'm definitely not saying anyone should go all deep dark and depressed and dwell on the bad. That's not the point. The point is that the saying "live each day like it's you're last" should be practiced a lot more. We should all start appreciating life a bit more, and appreciating the people that are closest to us more. In today's society we all just tend to glide through life in fast motion. We treat everything like we need to get it done as quickly as possible. There is no magic to the day, there is just rushing and craziness. People don't tell their friends and family they love them nearly enough. Fights occur far too often. Relationships are broken too much. Gifts people buy aren't heart felt, it's all about buying the latest piece of technology, and going into debt because you want your gift to be bigger than everyone else's.. Life isn't loved like it should be. Beauty is skipped over. We play life in fast motion. Nothing is savored.
In my opinion as time has gone on, everything has gone all wrong. Hold your loved ones close. Tell a stranger her hair is pretty. Ask for that girls phone number. Give yourself a compliment every day. Dwell on the good, not the bad. Go for your dreams. Shoot for the stars.. Break the pattern.. Savor. Because tomorrow is truly never a guarantee.
Remember:
Confidence is key. Love is blind. Support is a treasure. Relationships are overrated. Time is a concept. Open mindedness is a vision. Bravery is often mistaken for rashness. Shyness should never be taken as weakness. Regrets are a waste of time. Questions are for the bold. Happiness is a quest. Acceptance is a strength. Loyalty is bravery. Choices are impossible. Discouragement never pays. Optimism is a way of life. Luck is realizing opportunity. Credit isn't needed. Kindness requires selflessness. Laughter is medicine. Patience is not a virtue, but a sign of a more highly developed being. Ruthlessness is boredom on fire. Self love is mistaken for arrogance. Humor is talent. Seeing beauty is artistry. Anger is destruction. Hate is taught. Opinions are never fact. Mistakes are lessons. Adventure is everywhere. Normal has no definition. Religion is man made. Strength has nothing to do with a physical body. Music is life. You are your worst critic. Letting go takes courage. Romance is an act of passion. Danger is real. Fear is a choice. Death is a different journey. Passion can be dangerous. Too much of a good thing can be bad. Talent should be shared. Every life is precious. Senses are gifts. Beliefs are nothing but opinions. Reality is perception of the mind. The universe is all in your head.. But most importantly, never give up. Never surrender. And seize the day.
In my opinion there has been far too many deaths over the past couple of years. And my heart really does go out to those who have lost a loved one. I know it isn't easy. I have dealt with my share of death.. And while I realize people die every day, just like people are born every day.. It doesn't really hit home until someone you know dies. And then it is suddenly a very surreal thing. Suddenly it is very personal.. And very unfair.
But it's been making me think... Think about life and how fleeting it really is. I mean I think we all know in the back of our heads that time is short. We know it. We just block it out. Because, really, who wants to think about that right? The goal of life is to be happy. And dwelling on death, or the fact the your life really isn't that long, is frankly really depressing.
While I realize no one wants to think about that, I do think we should think about it a little bit more. I'm definitely not saying anyone should go all deep dark and depressed and dwell on the bad. That's not the point. The point is that the saying "live each day like it's you're last" should be practiced a lot more. We should all start appreciating life a bit more, and appreciating the people that are closest to us more. In today's society we all just tend to glide through life in fast motion. We treat everything like we need to get it done as quickly as possible. There is no magic to the day, there is just rushing and craziness. People don't tell their friends and family they love them nearly enough. Fights occur far too often. Relationships are broken too much. Gifts people buy aren't heart felt, it's all about buying the latest piece of technology, and going into debt because you want your gift to be bigger than everyone else's.. Life isn't loved like it should be. Beauty is skipped over. We play life in fast motion. Nothing is savored.
In my opinion as time has gone on, everything has gone all wrong. Hold your loved ones close. Tell a stranger her hair is pretty. Ask for that girls phone number. Give yourself a compliment every day. Dwell on the good, not the bad. Go for your dreams. Shoot for the stars.. Break the pattern.. Savor. Because tomorrow is truly never a guarantee.
Remember:
Confidence is key. Love is blind. Support is a treasure. Relationships are overrated. Time is a concept. Open mindedness is a vision. Bravery is often mistaken for rashness. Shyness should never be taken as weakness. Regrets are a waste of time. Questions are for the bold. Happiness is a quest. Acceptance is a strength. Loyalty is bravery. Choices are impossible. Discouragement never pays. Optimism is a way of life. Luck is realizing opportunity. Credit isn't needed. Kindness requires selflessness. Laughter is medicine. Patience is not a virtue, but a sign of a more highly developed being. Ruthlessness is boredom on fire. Self love is mistaken for arrogance. Humor is talent. Seeing beauty is artistry. Anger is destruction. Hate is taught. Opinions are never fact. Mistakes are lessons. Adventure is everywhere. Normal has no definition. Religion is man made. Strength has nothing to do with a physical body. Music is life. You are your worst critic. Letting go takes courage. Romance is an act of passion. Danger is real. Fear is a choice. Death is a different journey. Passion can be dangerous. Too much of a good thing can be bad. Talent should be shared. Every life is precious. Senses are gifts. Beliefs are nothing but opinions. Reality is perception of the mind. The universe is all in your head.. But most importantly, never give up. Never surrender. And seize the day.
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